Wednesday 26 June 2013

Rants From The Relunctant Homecoming Queen



On the Absence of Victory and Defeat

When is it possible to say that one has won in the game of love? There is no basis for victory. Everything is subject to self-pity or glorification, the acceptance and denial of reality. Not one person can narcissistically claim himself a victim or an aggressor in a given event, for each is a fool of emotion and among fools, there is no leader, no guarantee that one's vulnerability is less than others'.




There are no victories, only uncertainty and regret. Conquest and subjugation may only be established between parties playing the same battlefield, under the same rules. Love, in all its purity, cannot be considered strife, nor can it be categorized as objective. The degree of affection between two people, regardless of their attachment to one another, would always be inclined towards imbalance – one loving or needing the other more.  Ungoverned as people are in love's subjective rules of engagement, so to speak, love becomes an abstract connotation with the complexity of endearment, doubt, and remorse.  People persistently believe in love as the ultimate goal, yet flee at the slightest hint of anything resembling commitment.  Passionate individuals over-whelmed themselves with self-imposed delusions of attraction, only to later deflate their own emotions with cynicism or insecurity. Human frailty and orientation towards committing error may be attributed for the perception of relationships as entities which could have been made better, the results of action or lack thereof.  Lovers ceaselessly remain wanting of desirable traits, while the self-continuously chastises and criticizes the inner workings of its persona. Happiness is negligible in the light of pain, confusion and misery, in the sorrow and rejection of separation, and against lofty, unrealistic convictions on love.

In this day and age, it is quite unfortunate to find people who derive pathetic sense of pride from their success in surviving relationships unscathed because of their dexterity at breaking hearts. Paradoxically presumptuous and cowardly, such individuals shroud their loneliness with an armor of PRETEND STRENGTH and invincibility, the latter coming from the need to deny their emotions and assert themselves as a means of coping with pain and loss. Such self-absorption derives such persons to undermine the essence of love and relationships. In their rush to escape situations that call for the humble acceptance of reciprocal defeat and lowliness, they become oblivious to the fact that love has never been an issue of emerging victorious or defeated.  They forget that relationships are supposed to involve partnerships which seek to provide the best for the self, and more importantly, the other person involved.  Love should never be about rising above or sinking below a loved one – it has always been meant to surround two people with passion so strong, it would enable them to be but one soul experiencing all things as a single being. 

The essence of love and existence, therefore, is not self-preservation, but rather, the submission of the self in a commitment that knows no individual defeat or victory. In love, each must be prepared to die a little to himself, his pride, and his desires, to offer part of himself as a willing sacrifice for a cause that knows not to the boundaries of time.  Although full loyalty and commitment are necessitated by relationships, it is only when two lovers are mature enough to realize the importance of both intimacy and personal space that their love will be able to transcend mere attraction and fondness.  For as much as love is not an issue of issue of victory or loss, it is also not about placing everything on the line, in the so-called "name of love". Oftentimes, knowing how to give unconditionally is as consequential as being aware of when to stop giving, when to cease running after a loved one, and when one must put an end to making a big a fool of himself for a futile cause.  In so many words, a part of one's own heart and soul must be protected and made to stay intact in the uniqueness of its nature and experience, in order for the self to retain its identity even after loyalties have been severed.  This is not to say that a single soul must disjoin itself in order to cater to its needs and those of its soul mate. Rather, this implies that loving another person demands loving oneself enough in order to be able to forego desire and happiness for the sake of the other, in the knowledge that such an act grants the self a true hold on the meaning of love.

In totality, love is not a battle, for to determine victory or loss in such would be to undermine its sanctity. Love for the self and for the others must, in its very essence, be able to draw out the beauty in each person, such that each one sincerely hopes for the very best for the other, regardless of the pain that such desire entails. At that state of unconditional devotion, there should no longer be any need to qualify success or failure, for the intensity of love, as well as the fear of loss and loneliness, serve as the common, unifying factor between two souls made one.


Now ask yourself this question: Are you the type who is ready to take the fall?

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